My Biggest Flaw

(at the moment)

SO- I’m not perfect (duh) but I’ve been doing the best I can to improve.

I’ve been receiving the proper treatment for my disorders since January (2025) and I started attending a virtual DBT Skills Group since October 15th (2025) and I’ve been gaining a lot of knowledge and information I didn’t have before.

It’s been legitimately changing the way my brain works and this past week, our homework was to use our skills and to use a specific skill called “STOP” and “Pros and Cons” to manage crisis situations.

I am not in a crisis right now (thankfully) but I still had to admit to myself that I have a problem with money.

As soon as I get it, I spend it.

I don’t think twice.

I don’t consider the pros and cons.

I do it to get a “high” and when I receive what I purchased, I’m excited but…

The problem is that I’m receiving that money as a gift from my mom.

And I consider it totally it irresponsible and mean to spend it on things I don’t need… which I have been doing since my whole life basically.

I probably have been an over spender since I was 10 years-old.

So, that’s 19 years of having such a bad habit.

I decided to end this problem by using the skills I gained in DBT because it’s unfair to my mom to work so hard just so I can waste it.

It makes me feel like an ungrateful daughter.

And honestly, I don’t need the things I spend the money on.

They’re nice to have but not needed.

So, this week I’ve been using the “STOP” skill.

STOP means:

So for my issue, I stopped myself when I noticed I was about to spend money on something from Amazon.

Then I took a minute or two to think about my actions and the consequences of my behavior if I were to continue.

Then I noticed I was hyper and not considering others.

I noticed I was putting myself first.

Then I decided to delete the Amazon app so I wouldn’t end up buying anything.

After I did the STOP skill, I also did a Pros and Cons sheet.

And I felt really happy that I had stopped myself from buying something I truly didn’t need.

I haven’t been able to stop myself every time though…

For instance, I impulsively bought LED lights for my bedroom and they look really cute now that they’re up (so I don’t feel too bad about this purchase).

AND I did buy more keracolor clenditioner (this time purple and teal)…

But I feel that the more I practice the STOP skill and the Pros and Cons skills, the easier it will be to stop myself and that’s better than not doing it at all.

Thanks for reading!