Is Electroconvulsive Therapy worth it?

My Experience With ECT at AABBHH

I’ll start by saying this: Whatever you have seen relating to ECT on television or in movies is inaccurate. And they usually showcase a character going through tremendous amounts of pain during their procedure. That was nowhere near my experience.

The truth is that Electroconvulsive Therapy has come a long way since being introduced in the 1930s. Back then, there were very few effective interventions for psychotic disorders, unfortunately. So due to that, the use of Electroconvulsive Therapy (once it was officially introduced in the 1940s) rapidly spread throughout Europe and North America.

But what is ECT?

If you are not familiar with ECT, it might sound kind of frightening to realize what is done during the procedure. But, as someone who has undergone 16 treatments, I can assure you, it rarely has negative side effects.

Electroconvulsive therapy is a last measure sort of procedure. People who start experiencing mental illnesses will never be given ECT right away- nor is it recommended.

Typically, therapy and/or medication are the first things that are recommended to a patient experiencing mental illness. And hopefully with those treatments, their mental health becomes manageable.

In my case, I was 18 years old when I started taking medication and started seeing a therapist. After 10 years of little to no improvement, I was at my wits’ end. I was willing to do anything to get better. So during one of my psychiatrist appointments, I asked my psychiatrist? “What about ECT? Does it reduce suicidal ideation?” I had been inpatient for the 17th time in my life and I was desperate at that point to feel better-even if it was the tiniest bit better. He told me “We have noticed that ECT reduces suicidal ideation almost every time in the patients who have completed the treatment”. I told him I wanted to do it. So that same day, I watched this video which explained the procedure:

After watching the video, I signed a consent form for ECT and I was given 8 treatments and told to still keep taking my medication.

There are three different placements for ECT:

The first time 8 procedures I had of ECT were done with the placement being Bifrontal.

I was told that there may be memory loss and there was. But I honestly did not care. I was feeling better… as in, I had less depressive symptoms and I was beginning to enjoy being alive. I wasn’t suicidal anymore. Which, for me, felt like the best feeling I could ever have.

I was inpatient at the time when I received the treatment so I would often talk to other patients who were doing ECT. One woman had had one treatment and it had traumatized her. She felt worse after one treatment and I want to validate her experience, which is why I bring it up now. I told her, “I can tell it really didn’t help, although we both wanted it to. I don’t want you to be traumatized anymore so maybe you don’t need to take the rest of the procedures. I am so sorry it didn’t help though” so she decided to stop her treatment with ECT. She was though really happy for me and that it was working. I wanted the same for her too and felt bad that she had had such a bad experience. But as I mentioned, that usually doesn’t happen.

The Behavioral Health Hospital I went to is where I typically enjoy staying at the most. “Enjoy” perhaps isn’t the best word for it but it’s a whole lot better staying inpatient there than it is in other hospitals! So that’s where I go when I feel suicidal ideation for prolonged amounts of time.

Once I was discharged from the hospital, I would go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning for my ECT treatments until all 8 procedures were finished.

The first time I did the procedure, I wasn’t nervous or scared. I had a ton of faith in the staff, which treated me with a lot of care. I was confident that it would somehow make my life better-and it was! I was starting to feel really clear minded. And not thinking about the past or future. Instead, I was experiencing the present moment. Which felt amazing to do!

I was so happy that I started working and going to school at the same time and I was having a good time until another depressive episode hit me and I had to stop working and going to school. The depressive episode lasted quite some time (from October-March) and in the middle of March, I admitted myself inpatient again after experiencing suicidal ideation for a week.

At the time, I didn’t know my actual diagnosis like I do now, so I hadn’t been receiving the proper therapy for my diagnosis yet. So, I decided to do ECT again. This time, my psychiatrist decided it would be right unilateral (the placement) so that hopefully there was little to no memory loss.

After completing another 8 treatments, I did feel better. I haven’t felt suicidal since and I can’t say I am cured from my disorders. I acknowledge that the disorders are a part of my life now- but I have started to manage them better because of therapy (better as in: healthier).

I would recommend ECT to anyone who has experienced depression for many many years and/or someone who has not felt much of a difference with medication after years of trying different kinds. ECT is also recommended to patients who are experiencing mania, bipolar, catatonia, or agitation or aggression due to dementia.

I know it might feel scary. I was actually very nervous the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th time I had the procedure. I was scared. I wasn’t scared of the doctors or the nurses. But scared because my veins are very hard to see. So it would take some time for the nurse to insert the IV in my arm or hand. I was also scared of the feeling of the amnesia when it is inserted because it actually feels kind of “hot” and “spicy” in a way. So those were my fears.

It’s normal and reasonable to be afraid of the unknown. But if you know you need help and the help you’ve received doesn’t feel like enough, I’m not saying “run to get ECT!” but I am saying: consider your options.

Ascension Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital has excellent staff. (And I wasn’t asked to promote them!) But they are who I trust with my mental health treatment when I need to stay inpatient, with my medication, and as well as the ECT I received.

I hope that this may have eased your nerves and/or helped you understand what ECT really is like.

If you or a loved one have any more questions for me, you may comment or email me at: basically.a.dr.pepper@gmail.com